Shamefully at this age and stage in my life I have no long-term remarkable friendships to report. I can't babble on about the religion of girlfriends and the salvation they provide. I don't have any long term, thick and thin friendships to speak of; I'm almost certain that I never have.
My childhood while wonderful was mostly a blur of multiple transitions from one elite private school to another. My mother was fixated on this obsession with finding the "very best" education her money could buy. Once she discovered the smallest of deviants from what she pictured as "perfection", I was hulled off to the next best private school. From kindergarten to 9th grade I attended a startling nine different private schools; that’s nearly one of each year. Once I was removed from a prestigious Catholic Girls School because I jumped in the car beaming with excitement... I had just learned and memorized the Sign of the Cross... The last time I saw the school and my classmates was that day in the rear view mirror of my mother’s midnight blue Lincoln.
Needless to say developing and keeping lasting friendships under the circumstances was a challenge. I never really thought about the missing social dynamic of friendships it too much until I moved to DC. I guess being so from home, family and the familiar opened my eyes to the gaping void. Self preservation is the human instinct and it only makes sense that I just grew accustom to keeping friends at bay, compartmentalized within an arm’s reach. Never letting anyone too close yet keeping them close enough to frequently exercise my social butterfly tendencies. Oddly enough I am definitely the furthest from any loner characteristics; frankly I thrive on chaos, crowds and noise. I was born with a “Big City” personality misplaced in a suburban Mid-west town.
I’m going to share something that is just awfully ridiculous and frankly all to telling of my inhibited friend-making skills. I seriously cried enormous crocodile tears when Sex and The City ended… I spent six years and ninety-four syndicated episodes developing sacred friendships with Carrie, Charlotte, Maranda and even the infamous Samantha; they were my very best sudo girlfriends… To this day I believe if I ever find the luxury to enjoy cemented friendships, it would look like the lives of those four.
It is rather funny how I can in one hand be the polar opposite of the force of my nature. I’m no stranger to being the center of gravity in every room. I LOVE people and I definitely have away about myself that inherently tends to draw a crowd.
I am a metaphoric Soloist… My life is a performance among but quite alone; not combined with other parts or persons of equal importance; not concerted. Alone; without a companions or partners; I am a soloist.
